COMMENTARY: Wallace Faces The Wrath of a Kinder, Gentler NASCAR Nation

Bubba Wallace was not happy with Alex Bowman at the conclusion of Sunday’s Bank Of America ROVAL 400 at Charlotte Motor Speedway.

The two clashed at least twice during Sunday’s race, including an opening-lap scuffle where Bowman appeared to push Wallace through the backstretch chicane, earning Wallace a penalty. Wallace responded with what Bowman alleged were a series of single-digit salutes, and on Lap 42, Bowman issued a response of his own, turning Wallace at the end of the backstretch chicane and sending his Richard Petty Motorsports Chevrolet into the outside retaining wall.

Wallace confronted an overheated and dehydrated Bowman as he sat next to his car after the race. The two exchanged angry words, before Wallace threw water in Bowman’s face.

The conflict drew an immediate and animated response on social media, where a number of horrified fans chastised an “unsportsmanlike” Wallace for attacking Bowman while he was receiving medical treatment. There were no IVs administered on pit road, no cold compresses applied, nothing more dramatic than a concerned EMT kneeling next to Bowman asking, “Hey man, how are you doing?”  

If “how are you doing” qualifies as receiving medical treatment, I have received medical treatment from virtually every fan who has called my Sirius XM NASCAR Radio show in the last 16 years.

“Hey Dave, how ya doin’? Long-time listener, First time caller...”

Bowman had enough energy to exchange verbal pleasantries with Wallace, and at one point even attempted to swipe the Gatorade bottle out of his hand. I’m not a doctor — and I didn’t stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night – but to my admittedly untrained eye, Bowman appeared to be suffering from a condition that thousands of racers over the years have traditionally cured… by dumping cold water on their heads.

Wallace is almost certainly too quick on the trigger finger. (Actually, the finger adjacent to the trigger finger.) It has earned him the ire of a fellow competitor or two in the past, and it probably will again. But if “flipping someone off” somehow justifies getting turned into the wall at 100+ mph, NASCAR has changed a lot in the last 30 years. And not for the better.

This used to be a sport where intentionally wrecking someone earned you a post-race knuckle sandwich, if not a jack handle to the ribs. Nowadays, though, our definition of fighting is waiting for 10 or 15 crewmembers to get between you and your adversary before yelling, “let me at him!”

Standing up for yourself used to be the right thing to do. Now, it is somehow seen as boorish, Neanderthal and terribly, terribly inappropriate. Apparently, NASCAR drivers are supposed to settle their differences like the illustrious leaders of our nation do, by lobbing empty insults at each other from opposite sides of the aisle, playing “Billy Badass” from beneath the convenient cover of Robert’s Rules Of Order, only to smile politely for the cameras as if nothing happened when standing shoulder to shoulder with their opponent, just a few moments later.

The phrase “talk is cheap” clearly doesn’t apply anymore. In the year 2019, it has become downright worthless.

Bobby Allison punched Cale Yarborough square in the nose following the conclusion of the 1979 Daytona 500. Nobody considered it “unsportsmanlike” of Bobby to involuntarily rearrange Cale’s proboscis, and nobody complained about the terrible impression he was making on America’s youth by doing so. Back then, that’s how grown men with a severe difference of opinion handled their business.

“Wreck my race car, and we’re gonna have a talk.”

In 1995, Rusty Wallace got dumped by the late Dale Earnhardt, Sr. at Bristol Motor Speedway, After the race, he expressed his displeasure by drilling The Intimidator right between the eyes with a full bottle of water. Not just the water, but the bottle, as well. 

NASCAR fans loved it back then, but today, Bubba Wallace is somehow seen as a bad actor and a poor sport. In less than a quarter century, a simple splash of water has somehow become an act of violence; a concept that I honestly struggle to understand. Which has the potential to do more damage? Getting spritzed with water, or getting turned — driver’s door first — into the SAFER barrier?

To me, expressing unhappiness with six ounces of high-quality H2O seems infinitely more prudent than doing so with 3400 pounds of steaming steel. But apparently, a significant portion of NASCAR’s modern day fan base sees it exactly the other way.

They’re angry at Wallace for “setting a bad example” by delivering spontaneous liquid refreshment to Bowman in the aftermath of Sunday’s race. They decry his lack of sportsmanship and bemoan the terrible example he sets for the children of America.

My friends, if you’re counting on Wallace and Bowman to instill values in your children, you’re a lousy parent. Bubba and Alex absolutely had a job to do Sunday on the Charlotte Motor Speedway ROVAL, but teaching your six-year-old right from wrong wasn’t it.

Instilling proper standards of personal conduct is your job as a parent, and no one else’s. If you were as serious about that responsibility as you seemed on social media Sunday night, you would have used the time you spent lambasting Wallace and NASCAR (in shockingly salty terms for a group so pious) to teach a valuable life lesson to your impressionable youngsters, instead. 

“I don’t know if he was mad about the first lap or what,” said Bowman afterward. “But obviously, that was just a mistake. Then I got flipped (the bird) for every single straightaway for three laps. I got flipped off by him for three or four laps in Richmond, too, so I was just over it. I’ve got to stand up for myself at some point, right? He probably wouldn’t have gotten wrecked if he had his finger back in the car.”

“I get it, I’d be mad, too,” he added. “But he put himself in that spot.”

“He doesn’t like to race,” countered Wallace to NASCAR.com. “He just runs over everybody. He gets to Lap One and runs over me and (Austin Dillon) in the back chicane. We’re back there in the trunk, man. Just take it easy for a lap. He had a fast car and he just ran over us. Every time he gets to me, he just runs over me.”

Wallace also accused Bowman of “playing the sick card so I couldn’t bust him in his mouth,” a comment that did little to soothe the already ruffled feathers of NASCAR Nation.

Bowman and Wallace did no damage to each other Sunday night that couldn’t be repaired with a paper towel. No lives were lost, no blood was shed and no innocent moppets were led astray to lives of debauchery.

If you have never extended your middle finger to some clodhopper who changed lanes in front of you on the highway, God bless you.

If you have never uttered an obscenity after smashing your thumb with a hammer, you’ll have a much easier path to heaven than I.

If you have never wished death (or at least a sudden bout of explosive diarrhea) on the lady who stole your parking spot at the Piggly Wiggly, feel free to continue casting sanctimonious judgment on Bobby Allison, Bubba Wallace and any other NASCAR driver who fails to uphold your wonderfully lofty standards of conduct.

With any luck, they’ll keep you busy for many more years to come.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go outside and yell at some kids to get off my lawn.