Saturday, September 08, 2012

Top 10 Things To Do In The Motor Racing Network Trailer While Waiting For The Rain To Stop

10. See how far you can sprint toward Mitt Romney’s bus before being cut down in a hail of Secret Service sniper fire.

9. Watch satellite engineer Mike Weaver put more paper in the MRN fax machine. WARNING: Shockingly low entertainment value. Use only in extreme emergency.

8. Eat another piece of Linda Cressman’s peach pie, after wrestling it from the grasp of NASCAR Hall Of Fame Executive Director Winston Kelley.
7. Answer 1,276th Tweet asking what time the race is expected to start. Standard answer: WHEN IT STOPS RAINING!
6. Listen to pit reporter Alex Hayden bemoan International Speedway Corporation internet guidelines preventing him from cruising midget porn sites.
5. Take another nap.
4. Suffer through pre-race host Kyle Rickey’s latest dissertation about Ted Christopher being the greatest racer in the history of the world.
3. Watch a group of fans connect a series of random women’s brassieres and play jump rope. (Really, This happened.)
2. Mop up the drool puddle underneath pit reporter Steve Post as he selects photos for his “Around The Track” food website.
1. Laugh as Chief Engineer Doug Watson works to repair faulty computer monitor, only to discover that it’s not plugged in.

10 comments:

  1. Anonymous7:55 PM

    Dave that is just the best some times i dont know were you come up with stuff !!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous7:58 PM

    So when is the race gonna start Moody??

    Sorry, couldn't resist!!

    Steve in South Central US.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wendy(ontario, Canada)8:07 PM

    This is why I love listening to you every afternoon. You're up to the minute "news" is always worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lmao! Ur the man.Dave!!!! Funny stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous8:30 PM

    Sounds like you are having way to much fun.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Pics of #3 or it didn't happen.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great list. BTW, who still uses FAX machines these days? In fact you should not be allowed to use the words satellite and FAX machine in the same sentence. Talk about technologies on opposite sides on the spectrum. I bet the fans who assembled the brassier jump rope could have helped.

    ReplyDelete
  8. #11. Search studio for hidden food and wine from Angie Skinner.
    #12. Listen to classical music on Bagman's I-pod.
    #13. Leave toilet seat UP in bathroom.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous1:31 AM

    And with Kyle not making the chase, maybe we'll see you next season. NASCAR got their little storybook finish, and KYLE GOES HOME. As do I

    Doug from maybe next year NJ

    Cya

    ReplyDelete
  10. Brian Kramer2:07 PM

    So, I stayed up to the bitter end last night, thrilled for my late Mom that Jeff made the Chase. What will be topics on Monday?

    ReplyDelete