New York
Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda was ejected in the second inning of his start against
the rival Boston Red Sox last night, after umpires discovered pine tar smeared
across the side of the 25-year old hurler’s neck.
Pineda’s use of the substance
violated Major League Baseball Rule 8.02(b), which states, "The pitcher
shall not ... have on his person, or in his possession, any foreign
substance."
Pine tar is generally
used to improve a pitcher’s grip on the baseball, increasing both velocity and
control, especially in cold weather. Pineda is also believed to have used pine
tar in his previous outing against Boston, but Red Sox manager John Farrell elected
not to press the issue at that time. Wednesday, Pineda’s violation of the rules
was so blatant that Farrell had little choice but to point it out to plate
umpire Gerry Davis.
Pineda was
immediately tossed from the game, and almost certainly faces a hefty fine and
suspension from MLB.
What if Pineda
were a NASCAR driver, instead of a Major League Baseball pitcher? Past history
suggests that things would have gone much differently.
First, Yankee manager
Joe Girardi would have exploded from the dugout to defend his pitcher, immediately
denying any and all wrongdoing. “It’s not pine tar,” he would insist. “It’s an antihistamine
ointment prescribed by our team physician to treat a severe case of poison oak.
“I asked Michael just an inning earlier, `Does your arm
itch? Are you sure your arm doesn’t itch? Because if it does, that could impact
your control.’
“The ointment was there to ensure the safety of Boston’s
batters,” Girardi would claim, “and I cannot image how a league that claims to
care about the health and safety of its players could possibly rule against us
in this matter.”
When laboratory analysis subsequently proved the
offending substance to indeed be pine tar, Girardi would immediately change his
story, saying the club purchased 1,200 cases of antihistamine ointment from an
aftermarket supplier, but mistakenly received pine tar instead.
“We cannot be responsible to testing every single tube of
antihistamine ointment,” he would huff. “This is a manufacturer issue that we should
not be held responsible for.”
Pitching coach Larry Rothschild would claim that even
though pine tar was present, it provided Pineda with “no significant
competitive advantage.
“It was just a tiny little smudge,” Rothschild would
howl, with indignation. “By our estimation, it was less than an ounce of pine
tar, and our experts all agree that it would have taken at least three quarts
of pine tar to make any real difference in the effectiveness of his anemic curve
ball.”
General Brian Cashman would then follow with a tersely-worded
press release, claiming the pine tar had been applied by an unnamed equipment
manager without the knowledge, consent or approval of the Yankees’ front
office.
"However," Cashman would say, "We stand behind him 100%"
Photos:
Jared Wickerham/Getty Images North America, ESPN
And NASCAR would place him on probation until Sept. 30th.
ReplyDeleteLove your sense of humor and dead on account from the NASCAR world.
ReplyDeleteGreat Article Mr. Moody. But, you forgot about Girardi saying that it was a difference in how we interpret the rules vs. how the officials do.
ReplyDelete