Friday, December 01, 2006

NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND---The Racing Version

ARTICLE 1: A total of 36 point-counting races will be held each season, with each team’s best three finishes used to determine championship status.

ARTICLE 2: Any team choosing not to compete in three races will be credited with three wins.

ARTICLE 3: drivers finishing in positions 30-43 will be credited with a 30th place finish, since bad luck is not their fault. Drivers finishing in positions 20-43 will be credited with a 20th place finish. Drivers finishing in positions 10-43 will be credited with a 10th place finish. All drivers finishing in the Top 10 will be credited with a win.

ARTICLE 4: All teams will be expected to compete at the same level, regardless of sponsorship, manufacturer support, personnel, and/or driver talent. NO exceptions will be made.

ARTICLE 5: In the event that a team finds itself with a shortage of sponsorship, substandard parts, incompetent crewmembers, or drivers who can’t race their way through a tub of Cool Whip, all teams will be required to lower performance to a level that allows the aforementioned team to keep up.

ARTICLE 6: All teams will qualify for the Chase For The Nextel Cup, and make every effort to finish in a tie for the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be placed on NASCAR probation and awarded an additional 50 driver and owner points PER WEEK – regardless of performance -- until they win the championship.

ARTICLE 7: Overly successful teams may be required to race without any support whatsoever, since all manufacturers and sponsors will be directed by NASCAR to assist teams that are unable and/or unwilling to keep up.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous6:01 PM

    Hi Moobie,
    Where in the world did you get an idea like this.
    I LOVE IT.