The Who? The What?

More than one million dollars in award money was doled out at the National Motorsports Press Association's Myers Brothers luncheon Thursday in New York City. And of that million dollars, I recognized about 50-grand.

I certainly understood what Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s “Chex Most Popular Driver Award” stood for. I grasped the concept behind Denny Hamlin’s $50,000 “Raybestos Rookie of the Year” honor, and I knew what the Hendrick Motorsports engine department had done to win the $107,000 “Clevite Engine Builder of the Year” Award.

On a couple of fronts, however, I willingly declare my complete and total ignorance.

Jimmie Johnson’s No. 48 team received a $105,000 check for the “Checker's/Rally's Double-Drive Thru Pit Award” Thursday, and I haven’t a clue why. What, exactly, is the “Checker's/Rally's Double-Drive Thru Pit Award?” I haven’t the foggiest idea. And what about the $75,000 Sunoco Diamond Performance Award, also won by Johnson? Not a clue there, either.

Tony Stewart pocketed $100,000 for winning the “USG Improving the Finish Award.” Kasey Kahne bagged $101,000 for my favorite award of all; the “Commit Lozenges Commit to Win Award.”

Commit to Win? Don’t they all do that?

And why $101,000? Is an extra grand now necessary to get people’s attention?

Apparently, Matt Kenseth ran the fastest lap of all in 2006, as evidenced by his acceptance of the $75,000 “Goodyear Gatorback Fastest Lap Award.” And Kevin Harvick won the $100,000 “Mobil 1 Command Performance Award;” presumably by performing a dead-on rendition of the Village People's classic, “YMCA” at a local karaoke bar.

At least that’s my guess.