Saturday, December 03, 2011

Top 10 Quotes NOT Reported During NASCAR Champion's Week

The NASCAR media contingent has a lot on its plate these days. From baiting Kurt Busch into expletive-filled tirades to covering up the latest Daytona Beach "Black Helicopter" conspiracy, it seems like there are no longer enough hours in the day to cover the sport in its entirety.

In an effort to help the Fourth Estate get caught up after an exhausting few days in Las Vegas, we offer the Top 10 quotes NOT reported by the media during Champion's Week 2011.

10) Jeff Gordon –
“Ingrid, call 9-1-1. I think I just dislocated something important with that break dancing move.”

9) Ryan Newman –
“I’d have won the championship myself, if Stewart hadn’t hogged all the good cars and engines!”

8) Dale Earnhardt, Jr. -- “This is my girlfriend. We’ve been together for a while now, and I’m really looking forward to settling down, having some kids and jettisoning my bachelor lifestyle. Anyone wanna buy a perfectly good I-Racing setup?”

7) Brad Keselowski – “Penske Racing has hired an orthopedic surgeon to break my ankle every six weeks next year.”

6) Carl Edwards – “Tony Stewart is a stinking, rotten cheater! A cheater, I tell ya!

5) Kurt Busch – “Therapy rocks!

4) Tony Stewart – “Wow, I’ve got a great view of Reba’s butt from here!”

3) Matt Kenseth – “Don’t tell anyone, but I just peed in Brian Vickers’ daiquiri.”

2) Jimmie Johnson –
“Helloooo? Reporters! I’m over HERE!”

1) Darian Grubb – “SCREW YOU, SMOKE!”

6 comments:

  1. Love 'em all, but number one rawks!

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  2. Anonymous5:00 PM

    Carl Edwards has handled being second graciously and deserves high praise for being a class act. Darian Grubb deserves a lot more for holding his head high, acting with integrity (not ratting out the decision to the general public before end of season) and continuing to lead his team. He will be rewarded and I agree, screw you Smoke for the way the decision was handled.

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  3. Anonymous6:14 PM

    Still love you're "Smoke would draft an ice cream truck if he could."

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  4. anonymous internet genius6:56 PM

    11. we gonna have this show wrapped up inside of 90 minutes.

    is the banquet over yet?

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  5. Anonymous1:46 AM

    Daves own top 10. Cool. Keep em coming.

    Kelly in Manitoba

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  6. Anonymous7:46 AM

    wow i cant belive i just red that bull shit.what a waste.i guess if cant talk junk about kurt or kyle you ant got nothing else to talk about.

    ReplyDelete