Friday, June 21, 2013

COMMENTARY: How To Make NASCAR Hip

We can learn from Kanye and Kim
The Pop Culture world is seriously abuzz today with the news that Kim Kardashian and Kayne West have named their new daughter, “North West.”

In an effort to make NASCAR more relevant with the TMZ-watching, National Enquirer reading hipster contingent, we offer these helpful suggestions in an effort to assist various drivers and crew members in the naming of their future offspring…


  • Austin Dillon: “Marshall”
  • Greg Biffle: “Wiffle”
  • Clint Bowyer: “Baby” (But only if it’s a girl.)
  • Brad Sweet: “Sickeningly”
  • Sam Hornish, Jr.: “Chrome”
  • Jon Wood: “Morning”
  • Bobby Labonte: “Monty”
  • Michael Annett: “Funicello”
  • Drew Blickensderfer: “Fricken”
  • Mike Bliss: “Ignorances”
  • Brendan Gaughan: “Long” and “Too Far” (TWINS!)
  • Danica Patrick/Ricky Stenhouse Jr.: “Stenica” and “Danicky” (TWINS AGAIN!)
  • Todd Bodine: “Jethro”
  • Kyle Busch: “Tooinda”
  • Elliott Sadler: “Western”
  • Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: “Junior” (Look everyone, it’s Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Jr.!!)
  • Denny Hamlin: “Country”
  • Kasey Kahne: “Sugar”
  • Brian Scott: “Great”
  • Scott Speed: “Top” and “Lightning” (STILL MORE TWINS!)
  • Drew Herring: “Pickled”
  • James Buescher: “Burning”
  • Jeff Gordon: “Commissioner” (Sure to be a hit with Batman fans)
  • Nelson Piquet, Jr.: “Sneaka”
  • Brad Keselowski: “Trytaspell”
  • Johanna Long: “Notso”
  • Jamie Dick: Fill-in the blanks yourselves. This is a no-brainer, especially if he marries Johanna Long!

13 comments:

  1. Kasey Kahne: Candy

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  2. Anonymous11:49 AM

    What the heck is wrong with you?! Now I need a new laptop after spitting my sweet tea all over it! You owe me a computer, Moody! Hope you're gonna go over this list on the air...P.S. Name one of your twins "Always" and "Awful"...
    Tommy from Long Island ocrainaugh@aol.com

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  3. Anonymous12:40 PM

    Awesome! The bad thing is that people even care what two spoiled celebrities name their baby. It just shows me that what I've been saying all along it true. People are getting dumber as time goes on.

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  4. Anonymous12:45 PM

    truth is stranger than fiction.rest in peace Dick Trickle

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  5. Anonymous3:21 PM

    Must be a slow news day dave. Damn

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  6. Morning Wood.........priceless

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  7. Anonymous9:50 PM

    Why does NASCAR need to be "HIP"? Rcae fans are race fans. oh, and thanks for giving Hornish's kid my nickname.

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  8. Stephen Conley10:18 PM

    Morning Wood was the name of my radio show back in college...No Seriously. I took over the co-host position with the host named Woody Williams, the old co-host was David Wood. My name didn't fit in...So, yes, I had a nickname.

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  9. Anonymous11:38 PM

    This is funny and I'm sitting here with tears running down my face from laughing,don't forget,Angie could have a little Mule Skinner.

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  10. A picture of Kimye on this sight? Really?! While funny, its disturbing to think I went to GM soapbax to get my NASCAR fix, and was met with a picture that should only be on one of the sites my wife visits... I thought she was messing with my laptop!

    Please Moody, let's try to stay focused. I do my best to avoid the celebutards every day. You just took some comfort from my safe place. I will be visiting this website with due caution from now on.

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  11. Anonymous8:12 PM

    OK,now that was funny right there!

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  12. One in the hand is worth two in the Busch.... sorry couldn't pass it up!

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  13. Anonymous12:23 PM

    Gordon-Jordan, Sadler, Bakinda! Ellen, JJ's grlfrd

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